The 5 Surprising Truths about Anxiety — an article by Carl Argent

Have you ever felt a sense of unease without a clear cause: a racing heart or worry about the future, even when things seem fine? Anxiety is a common human experience, but it can become difficult to live with. The NHS guide to anxiety, fear and panic explains symptoms and routes to support. Here, we explore ways of understanding the experience with less self-judgement.

We often treat this feeling as a personal weakness or a modern flaw to be suppressed. But what if our fundamental understanding of anxiety is wrong, and by reframing our perspective, we can move from fear to empowerment?

Understanding these surprising truths can change your relationship with anxiety, allowing you to not just cope with it, but to listen to what it might be trying to tell you.

Anxiety Isn’t a Modern Flaw: It’s an Ancient Survival Programme

Anxiety is not a new phenomenon, but an ancient survival mechanism that has evolved with humans for thousands of years. Bygone civilisations had words for it; in Latin and Ancient Greek, the root words for anxiety meant “to strangle” and “to constrict,” capturing the physical tightness that is still so familiar today.

The central problem today is that our ancient biology hasn’t caught up with our rapidly changing modern world. Our internal alarm system, still tuned for spotting tigers, is now triggered by non-physical threats like being late for a meeting, a difficult conversation, or uncertainty about the future. We are left with a powerful, physical feeling of imminent danger, but “the tiger never appears.” Understanding this reframes anxiety not as a personal failing, but as a biological mismatch. This insight alone can reduce self-blame and open the door to a more compassionate approach.

Your “Helpful” Distractions Might Be Making It Worse

When the uncomfortable feeling of anxiety arises, our first instinct is often to escape it, especially when we feel powerless and not in control. We reach for our phones, turn on the TV, shop, or eat, anything to distract ourselves from the painful sensation of being unable to resolve the source of our unease.

While distraction provides immediate, short-term relief, it can create a dangerous feedback loop. The more we try to run from the feeling, the more power we give it. As psychological experts explain, this cycle can become self-defeating:

…the more we run away from anxiety, the more it haunts us, even hunting us and creates a vicious cycle of feeling anxiety, distraction so it goes away and then anxiety again.

This cycle can escalate over time. The anxiety often returns stronger, the distraction becomes less effective, and we may start avoiding situations altogether to prevent the feeling from arising in the first place. This avoidance causes our world to get “smaller and smaller,” shutting down our ability to grow and live a fulfilling life.

It’s Not the Situation, It’s Your Thoughts About the Situation

Consider this simple scenario: you are waiting for a bus that is running late.As you watch the minutes tick by, you feel your anxiety rise. Your heart starts pounding, and your mind races. But is it the late bus that is actually causing your anxiety?

The anxiety doesn’t come from the external event itself, but from the internal narrative you build around it. It’s the cascade of “what if” thoughts about the future consequences, a process known as catastrophising. What if I miss my appointment? What if my boss gets angry? What if this ruins my whole day? These thoughts, however, are not random; they are fueled by your deepest beliefs about what is important.

The big secret is that it was never the bus being late making you anxious. It was the thought about what would happen if the bus didn’t come, and your reaction to that thought is based on your beliefs.

If you are someone for whom being on time is a core value representing professionalism and respect, your brain will begin to perceive the late bus as a “tiger in the grass.” This is a pivotal insight because it shifts the focus of control. You cannot control the bus, but you can learn to investigate the core beliefs that shape your internal responses to uncontrollable events.

You Can Physically Short-Circuit an Anxiety Response

When anxiety rises, your body may feel ready to react and it can become harder to think clearly. Working with the physical experience can sometimes help you find a little more steadiness.

Gentle breathing is one option. Find a comfortable position and let your breath move at a pace that feels manageable, without forcing it. Some people prefer noticing contact with the floor or the things they can see around them. What helps can differ from person to person.

These practices may help ease tension and bring attention back to the present. They do not switch off anxiety or prove that you should be able to control it. In counselling, we can explore what feels helpful to you and adapt the approach if a particular exercise is uncomfortable.

That Nagging Anxiety Might Be a Deeper Signal

While some anxiety is a direct response to daily stressors, a persistent, underlying feeling of unease may be more than just a reaction. It could be a message from within. This nagging feeling might be a signal related to your personal values, the core principles that guide your behaviour and give you a sense of meaning and satisfaction.

This perspective suggests that chronic anxiety can be a sign that we are living a life that is out of alignment with our own core values, perhaps by living according to the values of others. That nagging feeling of anxiety might just be calling to your own sense of purpose, telling you that the way you are living is in conflict with who you truly are. To explore this, you have to ask yourself some challenging questions.

Ask yourself: What do you do in your life that is purely for you? Or do you spend your life functioning for other people? This isn’t about being selfish; it’s about understanding whether your actions are nurturing your own needs for purpose and meaning.

Conclusion: What Is Your Anxiety Trying to Tell You?

Anxiety is not a personal weakness to be ashamed of, but a complex and deeply human experience. By understanding it as a mismatched survival tool, recognising the power our beliefs have in fuelling it, and learning to physically calm our body’s response, we can begin to change our relationship with it. Instead of an enemy to be defeated, anxiety can become a messenger.

These insights shift the goal from eliminating anxiety to understanding it. We move from a position of helplessness to one of empowerment, equipped with the knowledge to manage our internal state and listen more closely to our inner world. Instead of asking “How do I get rid of this anxiety?”, what if the more powerful question is, “What is my anxiety trying to tell me?”

If you recognise something of your own experience here, you are welcome to talk it through with me. An introductory conversation is a chance to ask about counselling and see whether we would work well together; it does not commit you to starting sessions.

How I can help

If worry keeps setting the terms of your day, I can help you understand how that pattern works in your own life. In counselling, we can explore what anxiety asks you to avoid, check or control, and what those responses give you in the moment and cost over time.

We might practise noticing a worrying thought without treating it as an instruction, make space for an uncomfortable feeling and identify one manageable action towards something you value. The work is shaped around your pace and needs. You do not have to eliminate every anxious feeling before exploring a life with more room for choice.

If something here sounds familiar, we can explore how it applies to your own life. You may want to understand a particular worry, the things you have started avoiding, or why reassurance never seems to last. Those are all things you can bring to an initial conversation with me. You can book a free introductory conversation with no obligation to book sessions, or read more about counselling with me.

Further reading

NHS. Breathing exercises for stress.